After death rituals + last rites (hindu beliefs)
So there is a death in the family. You have never experienced or seen death of someone in past, or never attended a funeral before. (Hindu beliefs and customs may vary from region, and may be different in your state). This is South Indian after death rituals.
As per Hindu beliefs, the body has to be buried within 24 hours.
You are allowing the soul journey to reach salvation (moksha).
Cremating the body (burning) and burial are 2 options. Cremating
(burning) the dead body is the
cheapest method. You can either
burn the body in your own house, if you have backyard or space.
For burial, you need death certificate from doctor or registrar office, if you want to cremate the body in crematorium or burial grounds, located in city. The cause of death is natural, you can cremate fast. In case of unnatural death, like suicide/murder/ accident there may be autopsy or post mortem to determine the cause of death. It may take few hours.
There are lot of undertaker/funeral services. They offer in
packages. In case of cremation, they bring all the items like wood,
buring pyre, ganga jal, flowers, clothes, towels, pots. There will be
2 helpers and 1 pandit, who will guide
you on cremation process.
10 to 15 min on average. They will ask you to wet your clothes, with
towel.
Then mortuary van or ambulance, may drive to cremation grounds, if
there is no space in your house. They may use manual burning methods
or electric burning methods, where the dead body will be burnt in
less than 3 hours.
80% of Hindus, cremate or burn the body as it
is the cheapest and fastest method.
Few opt for burial in the
house or cremation grounds. In that case, you need death certicate,
book the space, sometimes police clearance. You need to spend some
money and even maintain it later over time.
So the family members or relatives, will be in different countries or working in different states?
In that
case, you can keep the dead body in mortuary in hospitals. They have
freezers and ideal temperature is set, so the body doesn’t decay.
You can keep the body in mortuary for 2 to 5 days.
(Mortuary
rent for 1 dead body/per day = Rs 800. It may vary depending on
hospitals)
You can also rent the freezer box, and keep the dead
body in it, say for 2 to 5 days in your house. But that is bit
expensive, depending on the city you live. Freezer box = Rs 2500 a
day on average. The temp is set to 19’c, so the body doesn’t
decay
fast or produce bad smell or odour. You need electricity 24/7 for
this.
I personally suggest to keep the body in mortuary, and bring home, just few hours before burial. (say if the delay is more than 2 to 5 days)
Preparing the body for cremation or
burial.
After the person is declared dead in
hospital or death happens at home, so signs of life is left, its time
to assist the soul in journey(moksha)
You may call all your
relatives, neighbors or friends as soon as possible.
Some
communities, your friends, relatives and neighbors will help you to
wash and clean the body. In modern age, some relatives, neighbors
hesitate and there are people who provide professional services.
They will clean or wash the body, do embalming services, remove any fluids or waste from the body, dress the body in white cloth or sheet, say prayers and keep it in freezer box or front of room, ready for all visitors to see or funeral.
For washing the body, water, milk, yogurt, honey, sacred water is
used. (mostly done in backyard of house or covering using bed sheet
on all 4 sides for privacy). The body is then draped the clean white
sheet or cloth.
Sandalwood is applied on male body head, and
turmeric on head of females.
The toes are then tied together, and hands are held in prayer position or near abdomen. The dead body head should face south direction and legs north direction. Incense sticks and lamps are lit and it should be continously lit from now on, until the body is cremated or upto 24 hours. To assist the soul in the journey.
Prayers:
You can arrange a Pandit to recite Mahabharatha, Ramayana and
Sanskrit slokas.
The dead body may be displayed in 2 or more
places before funeral. If the person is a well known social figure,
it may be displayed inside house for hours, then outside house,
if there is space, in hearse van decorated for the
community to
see for last time. (There will be 2 glass windows on both sides so
people can see while driving on road.)
You can also display the
body in memorial hall, in case of celebrity/political figures.
Now everybody has got a last glimpse of deceased person. You bring
the body to cremation spot. It may be space near your house or
cremation grounds. A pandit and 2 helpers will put wood and burning
pyre, materials, flowers,
sacred water on the water, put oil on
different parts of pyre. The elderly son of the family is called. If
no elderly son, then a male relative or sibling or even their
daughter can light the pyre.
A pot is filled with sacred water. you will be asked to circle the
body holding pot on shoulder few times. Every round, a hole is hit on
pot. A burning stick is given, and you light it first time. Then
other male members
may also be asked to light the pyre. (Customs
may vary from region to state. Just follow the instructions). You may
be asked to repeat few mantras or slokas few times. The helpers will
look after the burning body, and you
may be asked to leave. You
can stay if required. (optional)
Food and water:
This
customs may vary from state to state. We only eat rice porridge and
Tea/ snacks, until the body is cremated. You can also arrange
catering service, to provide tea to visitors. Rice porridge with
fried vegetables or pickle
is permitted, until the body is
cremated. Then you can eat veg dishes upto 16 days as usual. No non
veg food for upto 16 days.
Ash collection:
2
days after cremating the body, you will wake up early in the morning
and collect ash and bones and keep it in a pot. A pandit may guide
you in ash collection, may even recite mantras. Then you travel to
nearest river bank, say some mantras and prayers and immerse the ash
in water. Every city/state has designated places for this, the pandit
may guide you.
Your relatives and visitors keep on visiting during 16 day period, to console you/comfort you. Many of the relatives will stay in the house, upto 16 days, talk with you, about different topics, memories of person.
On the 16th day, you do Shradda (offering to ancestors). There
will be a temple nearby which will assist on this. Follow the
instructions of Pandit. You use rice, coin, leaves, flowers, bowl of
water and ritual is done to help
the soul in its journey to
attain moksha or salvation. You also honor all your ancestors on this
day.
Every year, you need to visit the temple, and repeat this ritual of “annual offering of ancestors”. The food and water given to ancestors on this particular day, will be the food for entire year.
Memorial Day:
On the 16th day, those who have the money, have hold a memorial
day on behalf of the deceased. (Optional: You can skip this. Or just
call your close relatives, neighbors) You serve the guests food in
the evening and dinner.
You can consume non veg on this day.
Depends upon regional customs.
Budget for funeral and
memorial:
Budget for funeral can be as less as
Rs 10,000 to Rs 10 lakh. There are certain people who offer funeral
services + memorial day service in packages.
Cremating or
burning the body is cheapest option. So cremation, fees to Pandit +
materials + tea/snacks can be average of Rs 15K or even less.
It
depends upon city you live. If you skip memorial day, you can save
lot of money. (upto 70%. Either personal choice or have financial
difficulties its optional).
Note: Never think about last momemts of person, days in
bed/illness or cremation events. Instead analyse the life of person,
how far he/she has lived. Memories, travels, achievements, work done.
We all will die one day. That is inevitable. It death approaches
after the age of 72+, that is common. Healthy
and vibrant life
is important, than living upto 80s, 90s, bed ridden, confined to how.
We all love our family members, and we desire they live to maximum.
Some people die in 50s, 40s, 30s. That is early death and tragedy.
80+ is old ripe age or living to the fullest.
You may face
financial difficulties during funeral or later, but most of the time
your relatives/neighbors may arrange it.
Someone will make
newspaper announcement or obituary. (I can also help to draft
obituary and news paper announcement for
my astrology followers.
For social media, flex, banners)
Note: I have attended lot of funerals, assisted my community many times. You may have 100+ questions, what caused death, if untimely, financial difficulties, uncertain future, how to deal with enemies, competation, do mind reading of people, like who is most affected by death, who is sympathetic or helpful to you like relatives, neighbors, friends. You have write 100+ names on paper in advance and I can do a mind reading. My spirits can answer all these things.
All family members can contact me together in a consultation, I can fix the schedule. Sometimes your friends, neighbors and relatives, may not be helpful, so we have a community for same. We can also meet in person, if appropriate.
You should also read this blog post, How to respect the soul after death is covered here. Do this immediately. Very imp